pre-season is officially over. she's sleeping in my bed right now. when i was doing those 2 corners, i was thinking about her. or rather, as soon as i got frustrated i thought of her. and i wanted her to be here. just to say something as simple as 'breathe.' because i was obviously flustered. i wanted to start crying. i had gotten stressed to that point. no, frustrated to that point. where i knew my ability and knew what was being seen was not my ability. but she's sleeping in my bed right now. and i can go over and kiss her on the cheek if i wanted to. and i've already done that. but there's no stopping me from doing it again.
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