after school
19.05.04 2:13 p.m.

It's been a while. What can I say.

Graduation. I came home. I'm still trying to see how I fit in here. Mostly it's been me thinking about her and wondering what's going on with her. I've spent time with Kristan and Mehdi.

It's hard to be home for an indefinite amount of time. I'm trying to get a job. Going to temp agencies tomorrow.

It's small things that I miss- going to sleep together in the same bed, seeing her smile, holding her hand or giving her a hug. I miss the physical aspects I guess- just because, well when you love someone, you want to touch them.

I mainly miss seeing her first thing in the morning when I wake up and seeing her last thing at night. The first night I woke up a few times confused as to why I was alone in bed.

I'm trying to calm down about everything. I think that I just cry really easily, so thinking about anything makes me want to cry. I was at the gas station with my mom and was about to jump out all happy saying that I could clean the windows.

Then I realized that it wasn't Gina's car and that it wasn't that exciting otherwise.

It's just hard. And it's hard when my mom's expecting me to be doing so much stuff here and I feel like a large part of me is still in Virginia.