blue women
03.09.03 3:10 p.m.

One of my earlier fantasies involved a very complicated plot. The main theme of it was simple. I just chose to elaborate on it in a very different fashion. None of that prince riding up and snatching me away in the "nik" of time. I wanted something that I felt could really happen. As far as I knew, there were no princes riding around waiting for girls like us to need rescuing.

So I settled on something a bit more elaborate. The tale of a trying relationship. Something comfortable. I am asleep in bed and am woken up by him. Come with me, he says, We have to leave. But don't let go of my arm- just trust me on this.

In the fantasy I had previous knowledge (of course) that I had a vague idea of what he was talking about, but the details were kept from me. We would leave the apartment (ground floor, side exit to an alley) and I would, as he said, be holding his hand. Sometimes his hand would be around my waist too- but we were together.

At first I used to have it that a concert was going on nearby, so lots of people would be passing us. Or there would just be a lot of noise. He would see two men coming towards us. He would pull me into a phone booth and we would start to "act" like we were kissing and about to have sex. Sex in a phone booth is something I still want to do.

The men would pass, but we were not quite safe. As we would leave, for some reason some other man would grab me and pull me into a car. The way this happened always varied- I was not particular about this. As this would be happening, I'd call out to him and as what was going on, where I was going- anthing. I wanted answers!

He would tell me not to worry- that it was okay. To not resist. The next part is blank.

I would end up in a room in a building. Sometimes there is no one else there. Sometimes there is. Invariably, someone comes in. I am to be a subject of a project. Sort ofhow they make the pop singers- but different. Not with music. One time I spent part of it trying on clothes and remember him being restrained as I was changing into different outfits. My underwear in the scene was aquamarine.

There is nothing sexual about this fantasy. All it makes me think of is the poster on my wall- Picasso. Blue Woman Naked.

I didn't fantasize in that position, but I may as well have.

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