sometimes i wish i was back on the forum. some of those girls were so amazing. wait, what am i talking about? all of them were and still are. but i'm so afraid to go back. i know that i still have those thoughts in my head- that i still think about going back to kneeling or holding back. i've done it a few times, but always stopped myself before i even got half way through. i was in recovery- still am. it's wonderful sometimes to think.. yea- been a while. and other times. we all know how that's been- to sit down and say. god damn it, can't i just do it this once? and you know it's never just this once.
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