i think i've gained some perspective. perhaps because it's hard to feel alone when you're surrounded. (on another day i'd say that it's just as easy). but i mean surrounded- or at least accompanied. by a few. it's nice to hear. even if it's just distributed amongst a few minds. which is why i'm never completely clean. i have one of those very long heartfelt entries locked up inside my fingers, but i can't seem to get it out. everytime i start to write anything i just think- this is me. this is me needing to take responsibility for my actions and my self. and this is me just wanting to throw my hands over my head and exclaim "i can't!"- me and ben are going to fail out and run away across the sea. then we're going to bet each other who'd die first and then try to die first ourselves.
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