sometimes i feel compelled to be drastic. i had (hate) one of those moments where it felt like in 3 steps i would be dead. i didn't read. i didn't clean the kitchen. my mom was unhappy with me (understandable). why do i keep on going if i seem to be stuck here? just die. it was stupid of me. i realized then that i hadn't have cried in a while. maybe that's all it was- but in thoughts. mourning the things i can't bring myself to say.
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