lakes
30.04.02 8:21 p.m.

i had a bad night's sleep- but that was expected. i can't usually sleep the night of any county meet. woke up at five am (maybe even earlier, but i didn't look at my clock for a while). threw up.

and then again before physics. before 11th period- right near the end of the day. maybe i could've gotten out of a period w/may, but come on- who would want to miss 'the most amazing demo that you'll ever see?'

exactly.

i'm starting to freak out a bit. it's all foolish really- i know that i shouldn't pull away like i want to. and i won't. it's all just distorted in my mind. i don't know what i'm really seeing. or, i do- but something else gets changed then in my perspective.

i feel like my mantra is still the quote that baird gave me- 'be open and life will be easier. a spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. a spoon of salt in a lake goes almost unnoticed.' (buddha)

just need to be open. right? yes