i just want to lie down sometimes and take a breath. just breath. the key to life. not in the yoga sort of way- it just makes me realize where i am. the hedge-tree-bush thing in front of my neighbor's house smells like poland. it has that sweet aroma of flowers growing in a field mixed in with uncut grass, a little bit of rain and the image of the road on the way to bychawa all mixed in. it's wonderful to go on a run and smell that when i come home. my father's there now. i don't even know when he comes home. sometime in late june i think. missing my graduation. it's just to keep him pacified enough. it's too stressful to go through changes like that. i think i take after him more than my mom. (mama, daj mi spokoj- ja sobie dam rade. boze kochany.) especially when i realize that i can't handle loud situations. just give me a subdued atmosphere- i don't care if i have to wear a frock to get it.
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