sucker love
13.04.02 9:59 p.m.

carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed i lie here charmed

i mean, what happens when you just stop? going on in the greater scheme of things along some congested (god damned) highway- and you just decide to stop and look at a tree on the side of the road. or a sign. a big billboard.

ok, fine- so next time take a detour or get off at the right exit. i don't get it anymore.

i feel like the plague has come and taken hold of me. are my physical ailments an indicator of my mental self? of my mental health?

why can't i seem to sleep anymore? tossing and turning (or at least that's the closest that i'd come to it since i can't seem to move in my sleep- but that's all in the past, right? the fact that all of that stuff happened is over with. i'm over it. why can't i be free when i sleep?) throughout the night. i wake up with my sheets thrown off the bed, and find my face buried under pillows- trying to keep the sunlight away. (she has freckles, but keeps them hidden during the week).

maybe it's just the training, right? but god, (just say that you don't not believe, but don't believe at the same time) sometimes i wonder who i am. i'm just a shadow of myself at times- nothing seems to get out right.

every me and every you

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