the 164th day would be the worst day of my life. he even told me so. fours were always bad for me. leaning over the edge and looking down into her face and explaining all the things that go wrong with the number four. it's just a terrible number. god awful number. the whole dream is focused on one day. the 164th day. going on a run, the back end of a y run and he tells me what will be bad. that i should just come into contact with as little things as possible. just stay away. what if i die? that question is never answered. i was really asking what if i kill myself that day, but no one wants to hear those things. such a far fetched idea. what am i doing? why is it so bad. it's always been like this. periods on the 4th, never can wear a size 4, this happens on the fourth, this never happens, it all adds up. or so she says then. he says that he is as strong as someone else too. we now have a common ground. go into the house. sit down. older- grandparents? she is not right though. demands more control. why the god damned number four?
|
old new book profile design host |