i think it's the funniest thing when i can't remember a word i write, a word i say in my mind. it just blows my mind that i can do things without any sort of recollection of them. the one things that does stay with me longer is what i dream about. those fantasy worlds from the night before. (can't blame me for wanting to get away sometimes, for falling asleep so early). but with them, a risk comes too. that the demons might come out from under. and of course, they do. listening in on a telephone conversation. click. and they don't realize i was there. that she was there- most importantly. they give me headaches like that. a flash and i'm gone. i can still remember what his fingers felt like- his thumbs. (my hand obsession arises) how he said okay- and then she asked him the same thing too. how i was being driven away in a car- a car without windows. how can i see where i am?
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