this was my answer: Regret- the one thing I that I swore I never wanted to have. It always began as a small thing, and then soon grew into a bottomless pit in your stomach (or maybe even the heart). How would I express it? I can't. You can't pull something out of a black hole like that. It swallows you whole- to the point where it becomes apparent that you feel this regret. I usually find myself with a pen and a pad of paper though. Writing something, anything. Crying even if it comes to such a point. It's easier sometimes to write than it is to say anything. Growing up in an alcoholic's family was 'like whoa.' We all start to share certain characteristics. Despite protests of apology, of "regret," the other still insists that something is wrong- that something is bad, that you are no longer right. "I know I've been slacking off lately, it's just that." That's as far as I can ever get. Interjected with something along the lines of "But you always seem to have time for this or that, and always have something more important to do." An endless cycle of sorts, but it seems perfectly clear within the commune. There is after a while no need to apologize. Instead just do what it is- act how you should, and all is better. All is forgiven. That's where the writing comes in usually. No one talks about these things to their friends anymore- it seems to foolish most of the time to admit to such a 'stupid' mistake. To a folly of sorts. Or better yet- a release of emotions through watching a movie. Again, no need for an explanation to crying while watching a movie- it's perfectly normal.
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